Santa banta Sms for facebook free now 2017

Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?


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Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!


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Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.


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Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat


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Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.


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Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.


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Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?


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Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.


 

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Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more


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Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.


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A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesnt turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out


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Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.


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Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.


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Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!


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Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!


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Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.


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Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.


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Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz havent u heard train is coming on platform?


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Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.


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Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.


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Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! Thats terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."


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Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.


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What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi


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Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!

Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?

Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!


 

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Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway steation drop krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya :*


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Santa court mein judge se:
Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he!

Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?


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Santa: CHADDI lelo CHADDI..
Girl: Tumhe sharm nhi aati, kya gande shabd bol rahe ho, koi dusre naam se kehte
.
.
.
Santa: OK!
POND ke KHOL lelo, POND ke KHOL!


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Santa: Dettol sabun hai?
Dukandaar: Hai,
Santa: Accha wala?
Dukndar: Ha
Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na?
Dukndr: Ha
Santa: Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta dedo.


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In exam hall a girl to santa:
Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do baki main likh lungi.

SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha,fir dhire se bola:
“The”


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Santa shaadi mein khana khane gaya
Par samane Salad ka counter dekh kar wapis aa gaya
Baahar aakar bola O banta,
abhi to sabzi hi kat rahi he


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Santa ke bete ka acident ho gaya
Dr: Aapke bete k pair katne padenge..

Santa ne apna sir pakda.
Dr: Kya hua
Santa: Kal hi nalayak ko chapal dilai thi.


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Interviewer: Just imagine, you are in 8th floor,
It caught fire, How will you escape?

Santa: Its very simple,
I will stop my imagination..!!


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⇏⇏Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
⇏⇏The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
⇎⇎Santa: I think I'll take the money.


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⇎⇎Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg⇏⇏⇏
⇎⇎O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!


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⇪⇪Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."
⇪⇪By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.


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Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.


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⇏⇏Jeeto: Why do Farts stink⇏⇏
⇏⇏Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too⇏⇏

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⇆⇆Santa: Im a proud father. My son is in medical college.
⇎⇎Banta: Whats he studying?"
⇎⇎Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!


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⇨⇨At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
⇨⇨Boy: Goal karan lai.
⇨⇨Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.


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Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "

A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

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