Naughty whatsapp status free now2017

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

2. Why don?t you slip into something more comfortable?like a coma.

3. My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

4. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I?ll put my head in.

5. You?ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. I'm not staring at your boobs,I'm staring at your heart!

7. How can you tell a head nurse? She's the one with the dirty knees!

8. A pathan want to commit suicide, When asked: Why are you crying? Pathan said: My wife ran with my Best Friend & i can�t live without my friend.

9. Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

10. Life's Irony Little Girls Want Barbie Dolls And Little Boys Want Big Cars. After Growing Up Big Girls Want Cars And Big Boys Want Barbie Dolls.

11. Height of bravery! Going Late To Class,in TOre Jeans&messy hair. Entering The class without Permission n saying to MAM: "Hey SwEeTy!" "CARRY ON DONT STOP"...

12. Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE- Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally...... Thats why boys go to college regularly....

13. Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

14. Skin meets Skin When is that the skin meets skin, hair meets hair n balls disappear.. dirty mind its when u BLINK UR EYES

15. How wud u tell ur GF if u want to go to toilet on 1st date. Dear I've to go to shake hands with my close friend with whom I'm going to introduce u later!

16. A policeman arrested a prostitute in the Hospital area and asked for her profession. Prostitute: I'm a social engineer Policeman � What do you do? Prostitute- I build and destroy erections!

17. Teacher: Dog? Student- Bow Bow! Teacher: Cat? Student: Meowwwwww. Teacher- Lion? Student: Aah Aah Aah Aaah. Teacher: I said LION, Not �Leone'..! =P

18. Why was newton surprised to c a naked girl? bcoz something started moving upwards which was against law of gravity!

19. Caterpillar last words to a guy who's about to kill him u r just jealous that i can make ur girlfriend scream louder than u can. :P

20. GIRLS STUPIDITY:- . They wont give their phone no. even to a KNOWN PERSON. . But they give all their PRIVATE details to an UNKNOWN TAILOR..

21. " Do u know that ur smile takes 1000 people to death? Save the world? so plz start teeth brushing regularly "

22. A notice in a factory for girl workers. "If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

23. In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another "I slept wid ur mom last nite" D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response. He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

24. What's common between the sun and women's underwear? a) Both are hot b) Both look better while going down c) Both disappear by night.

25. Interviewer: Where where yo born? Sardar ji: Punjab, interviewer: which part? Sardar ji : poori body was born in Punjab...."

26. It takes a million compliments to build you up & one insult to send it all crashing down.

27. Be smart and don't let me go, A girl like me and a love like mine don't come around every day.

28. LOVE is like a long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm clock.

29. The key of my happiness, just forgetting my past.

30. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

31. I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn?t u + i = 3D 69?

32. You remind me of a Championship bass, I don?t know whether to mount you or eat you!

33. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

34. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

35. Life Is The Way How You Look At It: "LIVE TOGETHER" Some Will Read As: "Live Together" Others Will Read As: "Live To Gather" AND Some Will Read It As: "Live To Get Her" :-D :-x



 

36. Sign board at a Pakistani petrol pump "please don't smoke here! we know your life has no value But

37. Petrol is very expensive"

38. AM I CUTE? TEST call, if i m cute miss call, if i m gorgeous Text back if i m pretty Text a joke if i m charming Just ignore if u r jealous

39. '1 day I read smoking is bad. "I stop smoking" 1 day I read drinking is bad "I stop drinking" 1 day I read making Girl friendS is bad habit " I stop reading" lOlzz'

40. You must work at Subway, cause you just gave me a foot long.

41. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

42. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

43. Is that a keg in your pants? ?Cause I would love to tap that ass!

44. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

45. What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!

46. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can?t hold it in.

47. I believe in love and marriage but not necessarily with the same person.

48. A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What?s the moral of the story??? A wet pussy always makes a happy cock.

49. That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I?d becoming too!

50. Once you begin being naughty, it is easier to go and on and on, and sooner or later something dreadful happens.

51. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

52. I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.

53. A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.

54. I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I?m allergic to sex.

55. Nice legs?what time do they open?

56. If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

57. Love is blind, and greed insatiable..

58. I’m easy. Are you?

59. If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

60. If it?s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

61. I may not be Mr. Right, but I?ll screw you till he shows up.

62. ⇅Poke me now if you?ve ever had a crush on me..

63. We know that romance brings out the beast in you.

64. ↰Some people say the↥⇇⇮ glass is half empty. Others say it?s half full. I?m just happy to have a glass!

65. ↿When I die my gravestone is going to have a ?Like? button.

66. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

67. I⇄’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

68. ⇭If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

69. ⍆How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

70.⍆ I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

71. ⍐Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let’s bang!

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