Jokes SMS whatsapp Message 2017

Bomb blast k baad Aadmi chilla raha tha O khudaya! Mera hath urh gaya
Pathan: hosla karo mat ro,
daikho us Aadmi ka sar urh gaya hai,woh Bhi to chup ha.


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Sardar Building Sa Gira
Doctor Said: He is Dead
Sardar Suddenly Wake Up n Said
Main Zinda Hoon
Sardars Wife
Tu Pya Reh Tenu Doctor Naloo Bohta Pata Aae.  



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1st Sardar:Me Kal Mushaery me gya
to logo ne mjhe utha k bahir phenk dia
2nd:Wo Q?
1st:Shaer ka nam Hayat tha
or me usy Daad dy rha tha
“WA HAYAT”
“Wahayat”


*********************************************************

2 Brilliant MindS...!!!

Pathan & Sardar:
Pani Peeny Gaey To GlasS Ulta Para Tha

Sardar:
iSKa To Moo He Band Hy

Pathan:
Neechy Sy Bhi Toota Hua Hy.

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1st dost:
aap Ka Mobile Bohat Acha Hey Kitney ka Liya

2nd dost:
Race Mey Jeeta Hey

1st dost:
Wow
Race Me Kitne Log They

2nd dost:
3 Police Waley 1 Mobile Shop Wala Or Main.:)

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Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya:

Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?

Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.


Sardar: Lo Batao,




Kitni Lambi Umar Hai. :-)

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Dr sab:tusi kehya C k subha game khedan nal sehat changi rendi A,
Per meno te koi farq ni piya

Dr:tusi kiri game khelday 0

Srdar:mobile te sap aali.


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Sardar:Aj mere parosiaan da bacha gum ho gia.
Main mashwara ditta te menu bohat kutt pai.
Friend:Tu ki mashwara deta c?


Sardar: Main kiya Google te search kar lo.

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1 SARDAR or American Siri paye kha rahe thay.
American k hath me bakray ki zaban agai.
American: Wats this?
SARDAR: Lo dasso
o khotaiya “This is Language”

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Aik SARDAR Daanton par NELI Siyahi laga kar ja raha tha.
Kisi nay poocha ye kya hai.
SARDAR KHUSHI say bola:
“O Pa Ji,Aj Kal BLUETOOTH ka Zamana hai !”

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Sardar apni behan pinki k ghar gaya or bell di ander sy..

Pinki boli : kon

Sardar: Main

Pinki: Main kon

Sardar: Tu pinki hor kon, pagal jayi.

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Sardar :
Nothing Da ki matlab ay ?

Teacher:
Kuch Nahi.

Sardar : Enj nai ho skda , Jadon lafz bnya ae Te Kuj tay mtlab hoye ga . . ;-)

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Sardar k ghar chor aa gya

Srdar na dekha to chor bhaga

Sardar bhagta chor sy b agay nikal gya

Or bola

Aik tay chori utto saday nal recaan

**********************************************************

For job intrview Question.

British to Sardar: “where is abu dabi?”

Sardar:

“jis qubrastan ty Ami Dabi,

Ody naal e zara para kr k Abu dabi”.

**********************************************************

Sardar:tm ne mujhe dhoka dia hy

Dukandar:Nhe sir,mai ne apko orignal radio dia hy

Sardar:radio pr MADE in JAPAN lika hy “ON” karo to khta hy

Ye radio pakstan hy.

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TITANIC do0b rha tha,
1Gorey ne Sardar se pocha zameen kitni do0r hy?

Sardar:2k.m,

Gorey ne samndr m jump lga k pocha kis trf?

Sardar: “NEECHY” ki traf.

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Girl Boy Se:
Jan Mujhay Aise Propose Karo
Jaise Aaj Tak Kisi Ne Na Kya Ho
Larka :
Kamini Zaleel I Love U
Mujh Se Shadi Kar K
Mujhay Tabah Kar De Beghairat!


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Man:
Koi Lambi Umar Ka Tariqa Bataiye

Doctor:
Shadi Karlo

Man:
Kiya Is Se Umar Lambi Ho Jayegi

Doctor:
Nahi, Ye Shouq Khatam Ho Jayega!!

**********************************************************

Principle:
Late Q Huey ?

Boy:
Bike Khrab Ho Gai Thi

Principle :
Bus Me Nahi Aa
Skty Thay ?

Boi:
Main Ne Kaha Th Sir
Par Aap Ki Beti K Nakhre Khtm
Hon Tab Na … =P ;)

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'America:ye building kitny din mai bani hy

Pakistani:1 maah mai

American:ye hmary mulk mai to 2 weeks mai ban jati hy

Thora agay jany k bad phr pucha:ye building kitny din mai bani hy

Paki:sirf 2 weeks mai

Americn:hmary mulk mai to 3 days mai ban jati hy

Habib bank plaza k pas sy guzry to american ne pucha:ye building kitny din mai bani hy

Paki (ghusy se) pata nai subah to nai thi.'

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'1 Admi Ne Apni Saas K paas Saanp Betha Dekha

Aadmi-Meri Saas Ko Dass Lo.

Saanp-Abay Kya Dass loon

Main To Khud Is Se Zehar EASY LOAD Kerwane Aata Hoon.'

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Fakeer: phle ap 10 rpe dete the, phr 5, ab 1 rpya Q?

Admi
phale ma knwara tha
phr shadi ki, ab bache hen

Fakeer
bht khob, mtlab mery paiso sy, ayashian...'

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'5 SARDARS AUR 1 PUNJABI
HELICOPTER KI RASSI SEY
LATKY HUY THY
PILOT NY KAHA LOAD ZIYADA
HY 1 FARD KO KOODNA HOGA
YEH SUN KAR PUNJABI NY KAHA
KA RASSI KO CHORNEY KI
QURBANI ME DETA HOUN!
TAALIYAN
YE SUN KAR SARAY SARDAR
TAALIYAN BAJANEY LAGY'

**********************************************************

'Molvi ne pathan se phocha: "Gusal k kiitne farz hain"

Pathan: 3

Molvi: "Shabash kon kon se?"

Pathan: Shampo, Sabun Or Tolya.'

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'Sardar: duniya ka sub se purana janwar konsa hai.

Pathan: Zebra.

Sardar: wo kese?

Pathan: oye yara wo abhi tak Black n White hai.'

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'Teacher:Jwani or bhurapey ka farq batawo.
Student:jawani meen Mobile meen Haseno ke Number hotey heen or bhurape Meen Hakimon ke'

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'Agr aap ki shadi nahi ho rai,
to
hr namaz k bad
7 dafa
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Apni ammi ki
trf
moun kr k
zor zor se chilayen...


Meri shadi krvao
Meri shadi krvao;-)
aj nai bolo gay to kal bhugto gay
Djuice...!
khamoshi ka boycotT:-P'

**********************************************************

'Wife
BV
aur
Begum
main kiya
Farq hai.???
.
.
"Kuch farq nahi hai Dost";)
.
"Ye hindustan, india or bharat ki tarah 1 he Musibat k 3 Alag Alag naam hain'

**********************************************************

Teacher:
Translate into English,
“Meray sar de Baal,
Urrh gaye Hawa de naal”
.
Student:
Hair of my Tind,
Have gone with thE Wind..:-

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3 Poltri Forms ki Inspection ho rhi thi
Inspector:Tum Choozo  ko kya dety ho
Pthan: Bajra
Inspector Wrong Food
Arrest him
Inspector:Tum kya dety ho
2nd Pthan: Rice
Inspector:
ghalat hy & arrest him
3rd was Panjabi, ghabra k bola:
Assi ty sary ChooOcheyan nu 5, 5 rupy dy deny aan k jo mrzi kha Lo !

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Ek chiunti hathi ke upar baith kr ja rahi thi.
Raste me kaccha pul aa jata hai..
Usko dekh k chiunti boli
.
.
.
.
.
janu. cross kar loge ya me utrun?;-)

**********************************************************

Train mai 1 machar 1 chinese k hath pay baitha!

Chinese pakar k kha gya!

Phr 1 machar sheikh py betha,

0s ny pakr k Chinese sy pucha:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Khareday Ga

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Sardion Ki Sham thi

Me ne us K Hath Pe Hath Rakha

Me ne Kaha Garam Hath

Wafa ki nishani Hoty hy

wo Hans Kr boli
“Kanjraa”bukhar ae meno
Eda tu science daan.

**********************************************************

Ek shadi me dulhan ka

pehla mangetr b

saj dhj k aya.

Kisi ny pucha k kya

ap dulha hain?

Us ny kaha “G Nahi Me

Semi Final me haar

gya Tha.

Final dekhny aya huN

**********************************************************

Sardar:Cricket Khel Kar Aya,
Dost: Kitnay Runs Banay?
Sardar:triple Century Hone Me 299 Run Baqi Thay,
kanjar ne out kar dia!

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Girl:
Book Store Me Sales Man Se,
Kiya Aap k Pas ye kitab Hey?
”Larkiyan Zaheen Hoti Hen”
Sales Man:
Madam Lateefon ki Dukaan Ye samne wali hai,

**********************************************************

Pota: Daadi ap kya TV par aati hain?

Daadi: Nhi

Pota: to phir Ami Q kah rahi thain,

k tumhari Daadi anay wali hain ab roz naya drama ho ga…

**********************************************************

1 Mölvi sheela ki jawani song dekh raha tha,

Ek Shks ne dekha or bola: Molvi sahb App Be..

Mölvi:”Pagl k Bache Me isko Näfrat ki Nigaah sy dekh rha hon”

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2 Friends ne sher ko dekha to 1 darakht pe char gya
2sra zmeen pe late gya or sans rok li,

Sher paas aya or bola

“Na Putar na”

“yE t0pi purani hogai hai.

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Ek Bv khubsurat thi Or Shohr kala tha
BV Boli:
Hum dono Jannati hain

Shohr:
Ksy?

Bv:
Tm Muje dekh kr Shukr ada krte ho
Or
M Tumhe Dek kr toba krti hun.

**********************************************************



SWEETEST EXCUSE

.
a kid get “0? mark in a paper
FATHER angrly says: wat is diz?
KID : Teacher k pash STAR kahtam ho gayay

tu MOON deny shuru kardiye…. ;-)

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Munna Bhai
Circuit apun ko 1Nurse se Pyar ho gayela hai,luv Letter me kya Likhu
Circuit
Simple Bhai,Likhne ka
DEAR SISTER
I LOV U
MUNNA BHAI

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Munna:
Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.

Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.

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PROFESSOR: Aqal badi ki bhains?

MUNNA BHAI: Bole to pehlay date of birth to bata mamu..

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Munna bhai:
bole to murga or murgi me fark kese karne ka
Circuit: Tension nahi lene ka BHAI
patther marne ka
Bhaga to murga
Bhagi to murgi…:p

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Height Of Shock:

Malkin:
Kya Huwa Tum 3 Din Kaam Pe Nai Ayi???

Kamwali:
Memsab Mainey To Facebook Pe
Status Update Kar Diya Tha,..
Ke Main Gaon Ja Rahi Hoon. . .
APKE Pati Ne Comment Bhi Kiya,

“HAVE A SAFE TRIP..
COME SOON HONEY. . . “

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Admi srdar sy:
Isy Englsh me Trnslte kro
“Dukh Hmesha sath Rhta Ha
Magr Khushi Aati Jati Rahti Ha”
Sardar:My Wife Is Always With Me
But Her Sister Comes & Goes

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Girl:janu ji tusi mere waste asman to CHAN tor k lya sakde ho
.
.
Sardar:Bari sayani a
Me CHAN toran jawan te to picho koi nawan CHAN chara dewen

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Girl:
Muje Ik Esa Husbnd Chahiay Jo Achi Achi Baten Kare
Hansi Mazaq Kare
Or Raton Ko Muje songs Sunaye

.
Sardar:
Tusi Husbnd nu maro goli FM Radio Le Lo…..

**********************************************************

Pathan:
yar ye Doctor Parche pe aisa kya liktha hai jo sirf Medical Store waale hi samjh paata hy

Sardar: Wo likte hai:
“Maine to Loot Liya tu b Loot le… ;)

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Boy To Najoomi : Meri Koi GF Kyun Nahi Ban Rahi Hai..?? :-/
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Najoomi Hath ke lakeeerian dekhte huay :
Kaise Banegi.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Qismat Mein SUKH Hi SUKH Likha Hai..!! ;-) :-P :D

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Khan 2 Friend:Ye jo table pe admi hy,us se hmara dushmni hy
Frnd:Table pe to 4 admi hain
Khan:wo jis ki muchen hen
Frnd:muchen to sab ki hen
Khan:wo jis k sufaid kapry hen
Frnd:wo to sab k sufaid hen
Pathan ny ghusay me pistol nikala or 3 admion ko mar kr bola
“ye jo bach gya hy,es ko hum nhi chory ga,

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Son: Papa Kya Hm Aeroplane Se ALLAH K Paas Ja Sakty Hain?

Father: My Son!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Hum Car Se B Ja Sakty Hain Agr Car Apki Ammi Drive Karen Toh… ;->

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1 ladka choclte kha rha tha..
1 admi- beta itni choclte nhi khani chahiye….
Boy- mera dadaji 106 sal tak jiye..
Aadmi- wo choclet khate the..
Boy- nhi wo apne kam se matlab rkhte the…

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Mera Dil Mobile Hai Aur Tum Uski Sim Ho.
Girl:
Aik Bat Poocho ?

B0y:
Mera Dil Mobile Hai Aur Tum Uski Sim Ho.
Girl:
Aik Bat Poocho ?
Boy:
Ha Poocho.
Girl:
Tumhara
Mobile Dual Sim Wala Tu Nahi Hai ?


**********************************************************

Girl to his boy friend:
“Kya tum meray liye chand taray toor kar la saktay ho?”

Boy:
“Tu chan taaryan di gal karni ae, log mainu amrood ni toran dendy!”

**********************************************************

Son:
Papa aaj ammi itni khamosh kyo bethi hain??
Papa:
kuch nahi,light gai hoi the
Ussne Lipstick mangi thi,
Maine ELFi dedi....;-)
shaid naraz ho ge hai:-

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TEACHER:Agar 2 peepal k darakhtoun ko
ek rassi se baandh diya jaye tou uss rassi ko kya kahein ge?
?
?
?

Pathan :
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"NOKIA"
(Connecting peepal)

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"Classic"

1st Dost: Me Aisa Kia Kron
k Teri Shaadi k Baad Me
Teri Biwi Ko Cinema Le Kr
Jao'n Aur Tu Naraz Bhi Na
Ho ...

2nd Dost: Meri Shaadi Apni
Behen Se Kra De ... =P =D

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Pathan:College Ki Ladki se Bola

I love U!

Ab Tum Mujhe Bolo

Girl:Mai Abhi Ja K sir Ko Bolti Hun

Pathan: pagal ki buchi sir Ko Mt Bol Unki Shadi Ho Gai hai.:

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Pathan galti se samunder me gir gaya....
 Doobte doobte uske hath me machli aayi....

use pakad kar bahar pheka aur bola Ja tu toh apni jan
bacha le...;-)

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SARDAR:
Batao aisa kiya karen k Saanp bhi mar jaye aur Laathi bhi na tootay ?
,
,
PATHAN:
Jootay se maar do:)

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Pathan 1st time jahaz py batha

 jesy hi jahaz ka agla tyre oper utha tu pathn pilot ko marny lga or

bola mai Pahly hi dara howa hon or tm one wheeling kr rhy ho

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1 Pathan Ko Road pe say 100 Rupay Ka note mila
Jis par likha tha,,
.
.
. "Eid Mubarak"

PatHan Ne Note Pocket mein dala or Bola


"khair Mubarak" ;p : )

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5 Phatan Mil kAr Minar-e-PAKistaN ko dHika lAga rEhay tHay,


eK adMi nE pOcha kYa kAr rEhay ho ?


PHaTaNoN nE kAha :

Hamare Ustad ne kaha hAi k Pakistan kO le kaR Agy bHaRo . ;-)

**********************************************************

Ek Pathan Pe Bijli Ka Taar Gir Gaya:

Pathan Tarap Tarap k Marne He Wala Tha,

K


Usay Yaad Aaya

K

Bijli 2 Din Se Band Hai. :-)

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Pathan Interview Dene Gaya Office k gate per ja k bola:
May I come In Sir ?
OFICER: Wait Plz

Pathan: 80 KG

**********************************************************

Teacher:

"Qarz-e-Hasna kisay kehte hain"?


Pathan:

"Jab Qarz denay wala paise wapis mangay,
 aur qarz Lene wala HANS day, to usay Qarz-e-Hasna kehte hen"!

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1 pathan angoor bech raha tha mgr keh raha tha aaloo le lo aaloo.
2sry admi ne kaha khan saab ye to angoor hai.
Pathan. Chup ho jao warna makhia aa jayn gi.

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Pathan: Yawr Sooraj Raat Ko Kyu Nhi Nikalta?





2nd Pathan:

Hahahaha


Niklega Bhi ToU Andhere Main Tere Baap K0 Bhi Nazar Nahi Aye Ga... =P ;->

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Pathan Larki Se: I Love You.

Larki: Tameez Se Baat Karo.


Pathan: "Assalam-o-Alaikum"

I Love You. :-)

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Ek pathan ka school main 7th class main new admision howa .

Teacher.beta batao Allama iqbal koN hain?

Pathan.hum ko kya pata hum to school mai naya hai..

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Ek pathan scheme wali bottle ka dhakan bar bar khol k band kar raha tha.

kisi ne pucha kya hua?

pathan: khocha dhakan mai likha hai
"try again"

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Pathan1:Tum bike itni taiz kyun chala rahay ho?

Pathan2:Ye khat urgent daina hai.

Pathan1:Kahan?

Pathan2:Addres parhnay ka time nahi hai.

Pthan1:ok go fast.

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Teacher Pathan Se: Batao Allama Iqbal Kaha Peda Huwe oR Unhone Kaha Taleem Hasil Ki?

PATHAN : Wo Hospital Men Peda Huwe oR School Men Taleem Hasil Ki, ;-)

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Khocha Khan apna Mobile Qabristan men dfna rha tha.
.
Man: Ye kya kr rhe ho?
.
.
.
.
Khocha Khan: Yaara dukan wale ne kha he k Mobile DEAD ho gya he . = p ;->

**********************************************************

Pathan: mjeh 4 bjay jaga dena.
Naukr:lekn mjeh to time dekhna nhi ata.
Pathan:o yara tm jaga dena time mai khud dekh lega.

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1 PATHAN apni jaeb me PATHAR daley ghom raha tha

ksi ne pocha: esa q kr rhe ho?

PATHAN SaHAB BOLEY: is dunya me osi ki qadar hoti hy,jiski JEAB bhari hoti hy.

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Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya. Pathan bola: ''o yara is pankhe k niche betho tumhe sawaab milega.
Mehman:wo kese?
Pathan: hm ye pankha masjid se utaar k laya hai.

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Pathan ne Doctor ko bohat mara
Logo ne pocha kyou?


Pathan: Etni garmi main kehta hy Paani obal Kar Piyo... ;->

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Pathan ko aik bandar mila. Wo usay Police station le gaya.

Inspector: Isay zoo le jao

Aglay roz Inspector ne Pathan ko bandar k saath bus stop pe dekha

Inspector: Isay zoo nahiN le kar gaye?

Pathan: Kal main isay zoo le gaya tha, baRa maza aaya. Aaj hum donoN film dekhnay ja rahay haiN. ;^>

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1st Pathan.yar kya tm ko yad hy k humne pechli jumah ki numaz ks dn parhi thi
2nd pathan: yar mje sahi tarh se yad nai mere kayal se itwar ka din tha..

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Pathan Konay MeiN Chhup K Mobile Pe Baat Kar Raha Tha

Dost: Khan Sahab! LaRki Se Baat Kar Rahay Ho?

Pathan: Yaara! Khuda Ka Qasam LaRki NahiN, Mangetar Hai.

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1 pAthAn dRiViNiG SiKh rAhA tHa dRiVeR bAtA rAhA tHA yE GeAr hA yE bReAk hA aUr yE kALAcH hA .

AuR yE xLAitTeR hA cAr dRiVe KaRtE wAqT In ChEiZOn kA KAyAL RaKhnA zOrOrI hA .'

pAtHaN yE ToU BAaD MA jAn Lo gA TuM pHeLe dRiViNg tOu SiKhOw ...;->

**********************************************************

Teacher:jo andr aany k liye sb se short sentence boly ga,usy gift mily ga.

English child:may i cum in?
Urdu child: Andr aa skta hun?

Punjabi child:

WARAAAN?

**********************************************************

Panjabi. 1 sawal da jawab te de,
O kaeri ongli ay jiday wich hadi nai hondi?

Parosi. Nai pata?


###Panjabi. Dastany di;-)

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###Bacha: me Ne hathi k samNe 12 kelay rakhe usne 11 khaye, aik q Nhi khaya####



###Admi: hathi ka pait bhr gya hoga###



Bacha: nhi 12wa kaila plastic ka tha,



Acha dubara mene hathi k samne 12 kaile rkhe to usNe ek b Nhi khaya q?



Admi: saare kaile plastic k honge



Bacha: nhi, is dafa hathi plastic ka tha...



###Bacha: pr ab kaile b asli the or hathi b asli tha pr hathi ne ek b kaila nai khaya####

admi:

Kiun?



Bacha: hathi tv main tha or kela bair



####Bacha: acha ab asli hathi or asli kaile dono tv pr the phr b hathi ne kaile nai khaye###



##Admi: kiun bhai####




###Bacha: dono alag alag channels pr the###

Hahahaha

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