engineering jokes New 2017

Beemar private employee se uski biwi ne kaha. Is baar janwaron ke doctor ko dikhao tabhi aap theek hoge.

Employee : Woh kyon?

Biwi:
1. Aap roz subah murge ki tarah jaldi utth jaate ho.
2. Ghode ki tarah bhaag kar office jaate ho.
3. Gadhe ki tarah din bhar kaam karte ho.
4. Bandar ki tarah seniors ke ishaare par naachte ho.
5. Ghar aakar parivaar par kutte ki tarah chillate ho.
6. Aur phir bhains ki tarah khaana kha kar so jaate ho.

Insaan ka doctor tumhein kya khaak theek kar paayega.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An engineer is travelling in a delux car in a desert nd he wants to take a bath !

What does he do now!!
Commerce student- wrong question! !
ARTS student- dont know !!
ENGINEER-its simple we will integrate de'(lux) car to get lux+c
Let c =sea to take bath c=sea !!
Can u murder maths more than dis!!!
ENGINEER ROCKS!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Khubsurat Larkiyan Zyada Padhti Nahi Han.
.
Q
.
K
.
.
Woh Janti Hain K..
.
.
Dunya K Kisi Koney Main
Koi Gadha Un K Liye Engineer Bun Raha Hoga 😛

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Uncle: Kya Kar Rahe Ho Beta Aaj
Kal..??
Boy: Ji EnGineering
.
.
… .
.
.
.
Uncle: Ohh.. Humko Laga Padai-
Wadai Karte Hoge..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Simple Engineering question..
What is the solution for
2 + 2 = ? ?

Option :
A) 4
B) four
C) iV
D) 4.O

Isi liye students sucide karte he..:P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Do You Feel Lazy To Get Up Early In The Morning?

2. Does A Book Work As A Sleeping Pillow?

3. Attend Classes Only For Attendance?

4. See The Calendar For Holidays ?

5. Cell In Place Of A Pen ?

If The Above Is Happening With You..

Congratulations -!

You are a Perfect ENGINEER. 😉 😀
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher gave him punishment to write 5000 times ‘I WILL NOT THROW PAPER AIRPLANES IN CLASS’
&
Submit it tomorrow–
Next day,
He submited the paper written__

#include<stdio.n>voidmain0
{
clrscr0; int; for(n=1; n<=5000;n+1)pri­ntf(” I WILL NOT THROW PAPER AIR PLANES IN CLASS “);getcho;
}
computer engineers rocked 😉
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BA Student Hugs an Engineering Girl. .
.
.
.
GIRL : What is Dis ?? .
.
.
BOY : Direct Marketing :p
.
.
.
GIRL : slaps a boy. . 😮
.
.
.
BOY : What Is dis ?? .
.
.
GIRL : Customer’s FEEDBACK 😀 :p
This entry was posted on February 3, 2013, in Engineering Jokes and tagged Customer, Engineering jokes, FEEDBACK.
Leave a comment
Engineering joke
Feb
3
Which is the most popular machine that engineering students frequently use..?

Think..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Xerox machine…!!!
🙂 😛 😉 😀 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7 reasons why I choose
ENGINEERING…
1) I hate 2 Rest

2) I have already enjoyed life in
childhood.

3) I luv tension.

4) I don’t want to spend time with
family..

5) I want to take revenge from
myself

6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &
holidays THE BEST ONE

7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!

Never Ask A Woman Her Age..!
.
.
A Man, His Salary..!!
.
.
And…
Now-A-Days…
.
.
.
A. Engineering Student, His Percentage..!!
.
.
.
It Hurts…….. 😛
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Engineer Song
Sari umra hum mar- mar k jee liye
.
Ek pal to ab hume pine do- pine do :p
Give me some
White wine,
.
Give me some red,
Give me another glass,
.
I wanna drink it once again,
.
Kandho ko beer k bojh ne jhukaya,
.
Daru pina to khud dosto ne sikhaya, 🙂
.
99% Marks laoge to whisky,
Varna desi, :/
.
Haath me pada beer, rum, vodka ka chaala,
.
Cocktail- mocktail ne pura bachpan jala dala,
.
Bachpan to gaya,
Girlfrnd bhi gayi,
.
Ek pal to ab hume
Pine do- pine do.:p 😀 :O 😀
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek ladka Dusre Se: Yeh Sukh, Shanti or Sukun kya hota hai ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dusra ladka:- Pata Nahi Bhai, Mein bhi ”ENGINEER” hu !!!
This entry was posted on February 3, 2013, in Engineering Jokes and tagged Engineering jokes.
Leave a comment
Engineering joke
Feb
3
Once Doctors challenged Engineers.. & viva went Like this:

1. Antibody – One who hates his body.
2. Artery – Study of Fine Paintings.
3. Bacteria – Back door of a Cafeteria.
4. Coma – Punctuation Mark.
5. Gall Bladder – Bladder of a Girl.
6. Genes – Blue Denim.
7. Labour Pain – Hurt at Work.
8. Liposuction – A French Kiss.
9. Ultrasound – Radical Sound.
10. Cardiology – Advanced Study of Playing Cards..!!! 😀 😛 😉

pls: “Never challenge Engineers”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girls Marks in Computer- : 99/100
Don’t Know How To Turn Off Computer
Properly
and how to remove PEN drive safely )

Boys Marks In Computer:- 44/100 Knows how
To HacK Computer :P:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ENGINEERING students
.
Ques: prove that 2/10=2.
.
Normal college student insist questi0ns “out of syllabus” or in c0rrect but Engineering student never know what is c0rrect answer, he always thnk we are Enginerng stdnt and we should thnk difrnt and invent new miracles so Enginering student wil s0lve dis example as bel0w:
.
2=two
10=ten, therefore
= two/ten
= cancel (t)
= wo/en
.
W=23
O=15
E=5
N=14,
.
theref0re
.
w+o=23+15=38
& e+n=5+14=19
.
Theref0re
.
wo/en = 38/19 = 2
.
Hence proved!!!For engineers it doesn’t matter what is the answer,
they say tell what answer do u want..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A frustrated Engineer was filling a job application. He came to the column that read “Salary Expected?”

After careful thinking he wrote…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
YES 😛
This entry was posted on February 3, 2013, in Engineering Jokes and tagged Engineer, Engineering jokes, frustrated.
Leave a comment
Engineering joke
Feb
3
Heights of being an Engineer……!!

Guy: Dude, why did u propose that girl
when u know she already has a Bf ?

.

.
Awesome Reply by an Engineering Boy:

khaali chair pe tho koi b baith saktha hai,
dum hai tho kisi ko utha ke bahtho
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Engineering Exam ka examiner bahut strict
tha
aur pap⇈er hard tha cheating
nahi karne de raha tha.
.
e⇇ngineering student ne chit likh kar
examiner ko di.
.
Examiner chup chap ja ke apni
chair pe beth gaya.
.
↲ek student ne kaha:- yaar
tune kya
likha… ??
⇗.engineering student ne kaha:-
“SIR , Peechhe se aapki pant
phati hui hai..:p :O 😀
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3
⇆Ek ladka g⇬olgappe wale se- bhai sahab, ye engineering college kaisa he?.
.
.
.
.
.
.

..
Golgappe wala- zabardast hai maine bhi engineering yahi se ki thi

No comments :