Cool Status in English 2017

⧭Self-control is the ability to stay cool when someone is making you HOT.

⧭Don’t you just love it when you flip your pillow over and its cool on the other side

⧭Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool. I am eating a sandwich…. You want those leftovers too?

⧭you’re sorry ? that’s cool. go write a book about it and let someone who actually cares read it.

⧭Your profile picture is a car…..that’s cool I didn’t know you were a transformer

⧭Cool Status in English for Boys and Girls

⧭I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find..

⧭Like if: When you talk to your crush you use that “cool” mood. “Like” you dont really care..

⧭If my boss saw how many cool things I post on Facebook in a day, he’d stop saying I’m unproductive.

⧭You are; crazy, silly, funny, goofy, amazing, cool, and awesome. That’s what I like about you.

⧭The perfect seat in class would be one where you are surrounded by your best friend, your crush, a smart person, & a really cool funny kid.

⧭My bank lets me send a text message and it’ll text back with my balance. ..It’s a cool feature but I didn’t think the ‘LOL’ was necessary.

⧭Do never compare dogs to men. Dogs are cool and faithful… Remember that.

⧭Dont like me? Cool, I dont wake up every day to impress YOU.

⧭Sitting at home: Oh cool it’s raining. Sitting at school: HOLY CRAP! LOOK, IT’S RAINING!

⧭Friend: I’m so over him! Me: Cool, let’s go get a soda. Friend: HE DRANK SODA…

⧭They say “don’t drink and drive”. Well…. yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I’m a badass.

⧭It’s cool that you know all the lines to the movie and all, but it wold be pretty cool if you let the actual actors say them.


⧭*Walking around supermarket* *Don’t see mom* ACT COOL, ACT COOL!

⧭I’m jealous of my parents, i’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs

⧭Maybe being nice is more important than being cool.

⧭Yelling “You’re cool!” when you see somebody doing something stupid.



⧭FBI, Open the door!”… Uh… no … it’s cool when you break in.

⧭Oh so now I’m invisible to you? That’s cool. I’ve always wanted a superpower.

⧭Nowadays, “Cool” means- “I really don’t care.”

⧭Wow you’re cool.” LIKE if you just read that in a sarcastic voice.

⧭Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes .

⧭You hate drama? Cool. Stop starting it.

⧭I’m jealous my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs

⧭I’m the dude with cool attitude

⧭Yes I am smiling and you’re not the reason anymore.

⧭Silence is the best response to a fool.

⧭A tear is made of 1% of water and 99% of feelings.

⧭It’s not an attitude, it’s the way I am.

⧭I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.

⧭My life my rules.

⧭Don’t judge me I was born to be awesome not perfect.

⧭I do not get drunk- I get awesome.

Time is precious waste it wisely.



Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

A jealous woman does better research than FBI.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

The only reason I am fat because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

Going to Macdonald for a salad is like going to prostitute for a hug.

The best things in life are free, the second best are very expensive.

I am not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I am right.

Cool Status for Whatsapp FB

Unless your name is GOOGLE, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.

Some people need a HIGH-FIVE, in the face with a chair.

Pople are like ‘MuSic’ some say the ‘TrUth’ and rest, Just noise..

Why is ‘Monday’ so far from ‘Friday’ and ‘Friday’ so near to ‘Monday’

Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my status…

I wish I had ‘Google’ in my mind and ‘Antivirus’ in my heart..

I am Waiting for GF Message!

There comes a point in life, when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will..

I miss the days when I was put my head on my desk…


Always smiling, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile…Smile please

When you care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours.!!

Sometimes you need to maintain a distance to keep them close to you..

Good thing is listening a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone…

Beauty is like Moon, looks much better at Night…

Your looks don’t make you Beautiful, it’s the person inside who makes you beautiful..

Someone asked me How is your life? I just smiled and replied, She is fine..

I don’t care what people think or say about me!..

I am learn from My Mistake!Without Mistake We Can’t Learn Best.

There are two type of people winner and Losser,Winner always Working Hard,Losser Always try to shortcut for win.

Your whatsapp status say’s online… If your online then, why aren’t you msg me!

Try to solve your problem yourself… Don’t Depend on other..!

Every people is a intelligent, When he work Hard!

Please don’t get confused between my my attitude and personality!

If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘
Above them’.

I’m cool but Summer made me hot!

Life is too short Don’t waste it updating status!

Work until you don’t have to, introduce yourself.

Those who know love has also the risk of knowing pain.


I want my Girlfriend like Google, She will understand me better.

Every problem comes with solution, but my GF don’t have.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… It’s called #Sunday, please fix it !

I Wish My Parents Were Like Google… They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete…

Every problem comes with some solution… If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a Girl!

I am not Spider man Nor Superman However i am superhero for my GF.!

WIFE and INSULT Are Somewhat Similar, They Always Look Good,IF IT IS NOT YOURS!

In Love Story, Mom Agrees And Dad Disagrees? It’s Because Mom Knows What Love Is, And Dad Knows What Boys Are…

I have no time to hate people, who hate me.. because, I’m always busy in loving people, who love me..

People say me bad.. but trust me I am the worst!

I don’t need to explain myself because, I know I’m right.

There are three sides to an argument.. my side, your side and the right side.

Phones are better than GF, At least we can switch it off…

‘Dream’ as if you’ll live forever..Live as if tomorrow is last one…

Galileo-Great mind! Einstein-genius mind! Newton-Extraordinary mind! Bill gates-brilliant mind.. ME-Never Mind!.

Totally available!! Please disturb me!!

Whenever I find the key to success , someone changes the lock…

Life is journey. I am traveller.

Life must go on


Never too busy to be happy

Brains are awesome, I wish everyone had one.

A smile suits every kind of clothes

I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children
Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

DRINK TRIPLE, SEE DOUBLE, & ACT SINGLE.

Always trying to cool my self.

Teachers Only Teach The Rules… But Winners, Winners Make The Rules.

My room + internet connection + music + food – homework = perfect day
Keep calm and enjoy life.

People with status don’t need status…

never give people permission to disrespect you….

life is simple if we are simple….

Dreams are just the brain’s Screen-savers.

Life without mistakes is like, education without books.

When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you.


My silence/smile is just another word for my pain.

Sometimes It’s better to be alone…No one can hurt you.

The most painful goodbye’s are those which were never said and never explained.

Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.

Sometimes I’m not angry, I’m hurt and there’s a big difference.

My silence doesn’t mean that I quit… It simply means that I don’t want to argue with people who just don’t want to understand!

Don’t be so happy, I don’t really forgive people, I just pretend like it’s okay and wait for my turn to destroy them.

If you want to make your dreams come true, The first thing you have to do is wake up.

I don’t have dirty mind, I have sexy imagination.

The greatest advantage of speaking the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.

I’m not failed… my success is just postponed.

Everyday is a second chance.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.

The only way to do great work is to love what you do.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

Life is like riding a bicycle to keep your balance, you must keep moving.

You’re already a successful personal. The things we take for granted someone else is praying for.

Dreams is not what you see in sleep, Is the thing which doesn’t let you sleep.

I will win, not immediately but definitely.

I look at people sometimes and think… Really? That’s the sperm that won.

When I die, I want my grave to offer free Wifi so that people visit more often.

I love food and sleep. If I give you a bit of food or text you all night, that means something.
Diets are hard because I get hungry.

We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.

Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

God is really creative, I mean…just look at m!

I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

Whenever i have a problem, I just sing, Then i realise my voice is worse than my problem.

When I’m on my deathbed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

“F#%K It.” – my final thought before making most decisions.

If I delete your number, you’re basically deleted from my life.

Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.

Whenever I think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.

Relation of friendship is greater than the relation of blood.

When I miss you I re-read our old conversations and smile like an idiot.


Down To Earth, But Still Above You.

Love Me – Hate My, I Just Don’t Care.

Only My Name Is Enough.

Your Intelligence Is My Common Sense.

I’d Rather Be Hated For Who I Am, Than Loved For Who I Am Not.

It’s Not An ATTITUDE It’s The Way I AM…

Respect Is For Those Who Deserve It. Not For Those Who DemandIt.

Before You Judge ME – Make Sure That You’re PERFECT.

Don’t Be The Same, Be Better!

Turn Your Problem Into Profit.

The Goal Is To Live Forever. The Goal Is To Create Something.

While Your Chasing Pokemon, I Am Chasing My Dreams.

Kill Them With Success And Bury Them With A Smile.

I Don’t Care What You Think! I Am Going To Make It!

I Will Not Quit Until I’m Living The Life I Once Dreamt Of.

Our Greatest Glory Is Not In Never Falling, But In Rising Every time We Fall.

You Don’t Get Paid For Having Ideas, You Get Paid For Making Them Happen.

Don’t Tell Your Dreams. Show Them!

Dream As If You’ll Live Forever. Live As If You’ll Die Today.

The Master Has Failed More Times Than The Beginner Has Ever Tried.

I Have To Be Successful. I Have A Lot Of People To Piss Off.

Hustle: Until Your Haters Ask If You Are Hiring.

Everyday Is A New Beginning, Take A Deep Breath And Start Again.

Get up every morning, imagine a future then make it happen.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way because God makes no mistakes.

You’re right. I’m NOT perfect. But I’m unique!

Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world… if you do so, you are insulting yourself…

Create your own visual style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

It is almost impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.


No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak.

It’s funny how people say they miss you, but don’t even make an effort to see you.

Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment on them but no one’s gonna solve them because everyone is busy in updating their.

Attitude is like underwear Don’t show it just wore it…

I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition.

I got less but I got best!

Get as rude as possible and don’t let anyone tell you how to live.

The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

Adjustment with right people is always better than Argument with wrong people. A meaningful silence is always better than meaningless words.

If a hug tells you how much I love you, I would hold you in my arms forever.

Silence is the most powerful scream.

Work Until Your SIGNATURE Become An AUTOGRAPH
Work Until You Don’t Need To Introduce Yourself.

I Am Not PERFECT But I Am LIMITED Edition!

If Your BAD Than Call Me Your DAD!

I Don’t Have An Attitude Problem I Just Have A Personality You Can’t Handle!

It’s My LIFE So Keep Your NOSE Out Of It…

My SILENCE Is My ATTITUDE!

My ATTITUDE Is Based On How You TREAT Me

My LIFE My RULE MY STYLE My ATTITUDE!

I Am A HOT Dude With A COOL Attitude…

Your Attitude May Hurt Me, But Mine Can Even KILL You.

Don’t STRESS Me, You Can’t IMPRESS Me…


Being ALONE Is My ATTITUDE!

Your ATTITUDE Is Like A PRICE Tag, It Shows How VALUABLE You Are…

I Am Who I Am Your Approval Isn’t Needed.

Don’t Take My Kindness As A Sign Of Weakness.

I Love Haters, You Keep Me Motivated.

Great Minds, Think Alone.

I love to walk in fog, because nobody knows I’m smoking.

I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced.

Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.

I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.

Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.

I’m not virgin, my life fucks me every day.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Save water drink beer.

Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.

Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor.

Had a really great “Night Out” last night, according to my police report.

The road to success is always under construction.

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

Born to express not to impress.

Silent people have the loudest minds.

When I was born. Devil said,”Oh Shit! Competition!

I work for money, for loyalty hire a Dog.

Some people are alive only, because it’s illegal to kill them.

When nothing goes right… Go left!

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.


Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.

Women should not have children after 35. Really… 35 children are enough.

There are no winners in life… only survivors.

Without ME, it’s just AWESOME.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?

The farther away the future is, the better it looks.

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Facebook account for sale, Friends included.

God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

That awkward moment when you realise that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.

If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the

I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and i’m still at school.

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.

My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

Not always “Available”.. try your Luck..

Hey there Whatsapp is using me.

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.

Trust in God, But lock your car.

Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with You.

Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.

It hurts when you have someone in your heart but not in your arms.

Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch off.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.


In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? they both have an iPhone.

Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police

A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

Wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.

Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.

Teaching your own mother how to use Whatsapp is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
If money grew on trees, girls would be dating monkeys!

I am not born to please people, So if you want to get pleased try me in next life… good luck!

Girls spend the first 10 years of their life playing with barbies. The next 10 years of their lifes they try to look like one.

I used to play sports a lot. Until, recently I realised that trophies are much cheaper than I ever imagined they were. You know what, now I’m good at everything.

I could talk about myself for hours. But the second someone asks me to tell them a little bit about myself? I can’t even remember my name.

Warning!!! Aliens are coming to abduct all the sexy, beautiful people!! Don’t worry…you are OK. I just wanted to say “Good-Bye!”

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The longer the title the less important the job.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.


I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?

Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.

Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.

I’m not changed it’s just I grew up and you should try too.

I never insult people I only tell them what they are.

If you think I am BAD than you’re wrong, I’m the worst.

The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.

I always arrive late at office but I make it by leaving early.

I’m sorry my fault. I forgot you’re an Idiot.

I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT.

My attitude based on how you treat me.

Hakuna Matata!!! – The great motto to live life…

Yeah You – The one reading my status, Get Lost!

Work until you don’t have to, introduce yourself.

I’m the dude with cool attitude.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

Yes, I’m smiling and you’re not the reason anymore.

Silence is the best response to a fool.

A tear is made of 1% of water and 99% of feelings.

It’s not an attitude, it’s the way I am.

I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.

Don’t judge me I was born to be awesome not perfect.

The best things in life are free, the second best are very expensive.

I am not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I am right.

Unless your name is GOOGLE, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.

I am Waiting for GF Message!
Always smiling, because your smile is a reason for many others to smile. Smile please!

When you care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours!

Good thing is listening a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone…

Someone asked me How is your life? I just smiled and replied, She is fine…
I don’t care what people think or say about me…

There are two type of people winner and loser, winner always working hard, losers always try to shortcut for win.

I’m cool but Summer made me hot!


I’m jealous my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.

I want my Girlfriend like Google, She will understand me better.

Every problem comes with solution, but my GF don’t have.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… It’s called #Sunday, please fix it!

I wish my parents were like Google… they should understand me even before I complete…

Every problem comes with some solution… If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a Girl!

I am not Spiderman Nor Superman However i am superhero for my GF…

People say me bad.. but trust me I am the worst!

I don’t need to explain myself because, I know I’m right.

Phones are better than GF, At least we can switch it off…
Totally available! Please disturb me!

Life must go on 🙂
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

Keep calm and enjoy life.

Life without mistakes is like, education without books.

Maybe being nice is more important than being cool.

Nowadays, “Cool” Means – I Really Don’t Care.

For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember.. that’s where the knives are kept.

Telling someone that you’re going to bed, When you’re actually not, and then having to hold back from sending messages on Whatsapp.

If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong

My grandma has always told me that if you have nothing good to say then don’t say anything at all, yet people still wonder why I am so quiet

That awkward moment when you’re trying to ignore a call and accidentally answer it.

If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

I know the voices in my head aren’t real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!

I loved a girl and she broke my heart. Now every piece of my heart love different girls. People called it flirt that’s not fair…

Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. Now, you help me to save mine.
Me and my wife live happily for 25 years and then we met…

Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

I’m poor. I can’t pay attention in class room.

When I’m good I’m best , when I’m bad I’m worst.

I’m cool but global warming made me hot.

Excuse me. I found something under my shoes oh its your Attitude.

If people are trying to bring you ‘Down’, It only means that you are ‘Above them’.

Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude.

My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!

I’m Not Special , I’m Just Limited Edition.

Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
Stop checking my status ! Go get a Life!

Coins always make sound but the currency notes are always silent! that’s why I’m always calm & silent.

My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

Life will give you exactly what you need, not what you want.

I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but at least I never commented “Cute pic dear“ on girls profile picture.

Your Whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren’t you texting me
I started out with nothing and i still have most of it

I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as “Free Recharge”

I will marry the girl who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card

They say we learn from our mistakes. So I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius.
Sorry vegetarians we can’t pretend.


Waiting for Wi-Fi network.

I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.

What is a Best friend? A single soul in two bodies.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

Friends are notes to life’s great songs. A melody that carries you along.

A best friend is someone who tells you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it.

I don’t have an attitude, I have standards for the people who are supposed to be my friends.

It is better to live alone. There is no friendship with a fool.

A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second an stops the third.

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your hear.

That awesome moment when you’re telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you.

My friends are the weirdest, most craziest people I know but I love them.

World is full of smiles, whenever friends are with me.

If friendship is your weakest point then your the strongest person in the world.

Good friends are like starts. You don’t always see them but you know they’re always there.

Fake friends believe in rumours. Real friends believe in you.

Never forget who was there for you when no one else was.

Every friendship doesn’t change into love but every love begins with friendship.

A beautiful friendship can change people.

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

A good friend would bail you out of jail but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, damn that was cool.

A true friend is someone who never gets tried of listening to your pointless dramas over and over again.

Relation of friendship is greater then the relation of blood.

A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.
A day spend with friends is always a day well spend.

Good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, impossible to forget.

I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button
Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

I love to walk in fog, because nobody knows I’m smoking.

I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced.

Oh, so you wanna argue, bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.

I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.

Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.

I’m not virgin, my life fucks me everyday.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.

Not all men are fools, some stay bachelor.

Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch off.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? they both have an iPhone.

⧭Some people call me Mike, you can call me tonight.

⧭Sometimes you succeed and other times you learn.

⧭I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.


Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status…

Tried to loose weight… But it keeps finding me.

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by selling my car.

I’m looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
lazy People Fact #58 You were too lazy to read that number.

Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy.

If your bad. Call me your Dad.

If I was asked what a friend looks like, I would seat next to you and hold you tight because you define what true friendship really is.

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